Tobias has a message for other kids in care

Published: May 22, 2023 · Updated: May 22, 2023

Meet Tobias. He’s a school prefect, dancer, pianist, and performer, with big dreams for the future.

Transcript

Tobias: Kia ora team. I am Tobias and I am 18 years old. Now that I've turned 18, I am a free bird. I can get out of my nest and do the things that I love doing. 

My big loved ones are dance, music and drama and also performing because whenever I'm on stage or playing the piano or dancing, I feel so free. I can show and express myself. It's a great way to make myself feel relaxed and calm as well. 

I was 9 years old when I was first put into care. I used to be the father figure of my siblings. I used to help make them food or watch them outside and make sure they're OK, giving them cuddles and telling them that we're all gonna be safe and stuff. It's made me realise that I've gained a lot of leadership skills from that. 

I remember arriving at my new caregiver's house and seeing a great fancy piano and going straight to that and started playing my favourite song that I always heard on the radio. 

I connect myself with the music that is around me and it's a great feeling. Very great feeling. 

I call my caregivers my parents. They're definitely my parents. Mother and father, always, now. Even though we're not blood related, they've nurtured me and they've brought me up ever since I've been a little child and so I count that as a parent. 

Bola is super duper important to me. He's taught me so much about being a respectful gentleman and doing the right things. He is already family. No matter what. He's going to be my uncle. Always.  

Paula (Bola) Hausia: Yeah, he's done well, Tobias. So proud. 

Tobias: He's a great, great leader. Now that I've turned 18, I'm going to reward myself with New Zealand Musical Theatre Diploma, as well as a Bachelor of Performing Arts and also a advanced professional dance diploma that I would get over in Sydney, hopefully. 

This is my message for other kids who are in care, is to dream big and really motivate yourself and put yourself out there. Don't let the past define who you really are.

After spending half of his life in care, Tobias recently turned 18 and is ready to take on the world.

'I am a free bird! I can get out of my nest, and do the things that I love doing, like chase a new career, or explore the world,' says Tobias, with his trademark grin.

Tobias will leave Whanganui High School at the end of this year (but not before his starring role as Danny Zuko in the upcoming musical Grease) and plans to study musical theatre and performing arts, before heading offshore to Sydney to dance.

'When I'm on stage or playing the piano or dancing, it is a great way to express myself, I feel relaxed and calm, and all my worries seem to go away.'

Resilience, respect and ‘pushing himself every day’ are part of Tobias’s daily mantra.

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Tobias with Paula (Bola) Hausia, his social worker at Life to the Max.

Support from caregivers & his social worker

He credits a lot of his drive to his caregivers, who he has lived with since he was 9, and calls ‘mum and dad’. 'If I didn’t have them, I wouldn’t know where I would be. They are amazing people and have taught me so much about life.'

'Even though we’re not blood related, they've nurtured me, and brought me up ever since I was a little child, and I count that as a parent.'

Another constant in Tobias’s life over the last 9 years has been his social worker, Paula (pronounced ‘Bola’) Hausia, who works for one of our community partners, Life To The Max.

He says Tobias has grown a lot since he met him 9 years ago as a 'small timid, brown-eyed little boy'. ‘Oh man, every time I see him, I just see this flamboyant, confident, respectful young man. And he is a big boy. I look up at him now!'

Paula says it 'takes a village' to raise a child. 'Life To The Max works with our community partners like other NGO’s, the police and Oranga Tamariki, who I call the mother ship!'

'I just want Tobias to be happy. Whatever path he chooses and that everything will go well for him and to fulfil his dreams and aspirations.'

And Tobias has a message for other kids in Oranga Tamariki care: 'Dream big, motivate yourself, and put yourself out there. Don't let the past define who you really are.'

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